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I cannot believe it, it has just happened again!

Every single time I pick a boyfriend, he is absolutely useless! Try as I might, the more thought and effort I put into it, the worse the `Uselessness'  gets.    Every syllable, every  letter and every vowel of the very word itself,  resonates and vibrates within the cells of my body, like the `onomatopoeia of doom'. 

After twenty five years of `Endurance  Uselessness', with one  fleeting glance, I can actually feel the subtle nuances  of `Uselessness', flowing off a man in waves.  It's almost become a 6th sense, that I pick up on (a bit like the smell of fear) and here I touch on another valid point; the  potent combination of the smell of fear and the 6th sense, combined,  literally makes me run  for my life.

Girls' in case you don't pick up upon these ` Useless vibes' straight away, here are a few key phrases, that should immobilise your hips and feet........ instantly. 

  • I only take drugs occasionally......
  • Did you know your boyfriend is making up stories about you?
  • How much money are you going to earn next year?
  • My Mother's addicted to sleeping tablets because of me......I kept getting arrested
  • That house is rightfully mine...
  • I lost everything when....
  • I gave up my job.....because I didn't like my boss...
  • I didn't want to get married....
  • I only got married because all my friends were getting married.....
  • I only got married because my parents expected me to....
  • She made no effort on our wedding day...she just looked the same..
  • She kicked me out because......
  • We had a new baby, I was working nights and  she just let herself go...
  • I had needs.....

It's a terrible injustice when a boyfriend takes advantage of your good nature and couldn't even tell the truth, if someone put a gun to his frontal lobe or told him  `I'll give you £10,000,000,000'.

 How can a man, callously construct a persona  of such dastardly deception and magnitude and  carry on under the `Trades Description  Act', of a `Human Being'? I cannot get my head around it; it's mental!

 I have readily and happily given up any hope, of meeting anyone decent but now the aftermath is, the emotional residue, which is  still refusing to wash away. 

Didn't Jesus say `Shake the dust from your shoes' and walk away (or ...something  like that) but the dust on my shoes, well it's like the nuclear fallout from Chernobyl! There's so much of it! My head is fuzzy like a bad  day at Bhopal! honestly....I'm done in!!!!!

 So the only way I can shake off any of this, is to offer up  the experience, cathartically, to my girlfriends', in the hope that another,  innocent beautiful girl, will recognise, a `loose' description, of a U.B (useless boyfriend) on this site and de-tangle (or shake the gunge or excrement, from the quagmire.....or  bog or whatever other metaphor, adequately portrays, the full horror of the `Post Traumatic Useless Boyfriend') and be  able to free herself, from him, before she ends up like me! (that's psychologically disturbed) 

Also girls', on this website, you can free yourselves, from your interior monologues of: hatred, anger, seething, disgust and dismay, by leaving your  ex-UB's,  stories here (not just for revenge but also for anthropological purposes. Maybe then a futurologist or sociologist, will study the U.B. and deem it fit, that there is no longer a `need' for the male gender. Where's Hitler when you need him?)  

I don't just want you to dish it, I want you to serve it up, on a silver platter.  Let's  have a `UB Banquet'.  Do the lot; the starter, the main and the dessert. Drink all the table wine, white or red.  Demolish the cheese and  biscuits, wash it down with the liqueur, throw in a half-hundred-weight, mountain of `After Eights' and  polish the whole thing  off, with a bottle of `Gaviscon' just for good measure. 

Girls' this will be the best  cure for `The Useless Acid Indigestion', you've ever had.  And there's casualties all the way from Bermondsey to Bottany Bay.

Don't just do it for yourself, do it for the  health of all women everywhere! 

These are my stories and I promise you, that they are all true.



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What is the most useless thing about your boyfriend

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