Home Useless Household Jobs
The Most Useless Household Job E-mail

You know what it's like, there's this small, very small, (small being the operative word) very vital, imperative,  household job, that needs doing.
 You  have young children and a glass back door. It keeps banging back against the wall. You cannot afford to replace the door, so you'll go with the idea of a hook or something attached to the wall, so that you can tie the door to a  stationary place.  

 So you first mentioned the `Hook'  to the UB, in Easter of 1999.  What happened between then and 2010? Do read on
 2000.     It  was the Millennium.
 2001.     You gave him time to get over the Millennium.  You  mentioned it again  
                in
2002...............................Nada.
2003       He had to tax the car, so that year was out.
2004       He  put a curtain rail up (but that was for a neighbour, so that
               was OK) Brownie points for altruism.  Poor love he was exhausted too.
2005       The BBC News conflicts with the time he has his shower.  So that 
               year was out.
2006       It's too hard working, going to the gym  and walking.
              Your children's'  heads are still attached  to their necks but the
              glass has been replaced four times and if it smashes again you'll be
              reduced to prostitution because you definitely won't be able to afford
              to replace the glass, again.
2007      During all of that year, he was waiting for an important phone call.
2008      You give him a year off (for good behaviour)
2009.     Your hedging your bets by now. Your stopping and asking inanimate
              pedestrians. You've asked your milkman to do it, a teenage boy in the
              street, a work colleague and a polish labourer. They think you fancy
               them....leave it.
Your free falling into an abyss of desperation....Argh! Listen, you've just got to do one of four things:

1) move  on  and  bin him.
2) Kill him. 
3) kill yourself.
4) Kill the entire family (why not other people do it)

'Diminished Responsibility' springs instantly to mind here.  You could easily snap over a small house hold job.   I've seen it happen to women a million times. 

 I've had a `touch' of `Diminished Responsibility' on more that one occasion.  In another dimension, I'm sure I've heard this, just before I've been flung in to the cells (and probably been grateful for it.  If your in a cell, at least you'd be away from the U.B)

So I will definely lay money on this being the most used section of the website. Chick-letts, list the job and then tell us how the `Diminished Responsibility', reared it's ugly head.....Ha ha!