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Useless Stalkers E-mail

Stalking is a sweeping generalisation or an `umbrella term', that encapsulates a whole spectrum of Useless behaviour and situations. This definitely is the antithesis to the female libido.
Let me be specific and tell you just what is included, in `Useless Stalking' (paradoxically it's admirable because He obviously puts a lot of thought into it and it must be hard work, the logistics and manoeuvres.)

  • As you pull up in your car outside your house in Kent (he lives in Essex)He drives past and stops.  In a cavalier manner He says `Oh what a coincidence.  I was just in the area'.
  • He starts commuting at the same train station as you (He lives in Kent and you live in Essex)
  • He lives in Essex but starts doing his food shopping in your local  supermarket in Kent....(yep still the same guy)
  • He  rings  and says `Argh long time  no hear, I was just editing my stored numbers' (yep same guy in all of the above)
  •  His a black cab driver, who starts giving your friends `lifts', just to interrogate them about you.
  • He starts using the same gym as you (double`libido-whammy' here; seeing him in sports-shorts-attire...by the way if your going out with a geography teacher, never ever, try to catch him at the gym....you'll need on the spot treatment from a psychiatrist and even then it might be too late)
  • He starts going to your brothers gym and tells him `Tell her I'd take her back' (the one that police told you to ring 999, if you ever saw him again)
  • He rings after you have split up and says `Let's meet for lunch'. He rings and says `let's meet for lunch', 2 weeks later and then again and again and again.